7 Things to Know About Pregnancy for First-Time Moms
Becoming a mom for the first time is exciting, but it can also be extremely intimidating. Feeling physically prepared with comfy clothes, lots of snacks, and a great support system is 100% crucial, but doing the mental work of preparing for pregnancy and birth is just as important. Here are seven things to know about pregnancy for first-time moms:
1. if something feels weird, it’s most likely normal
WOW! You got a positive test. Seeing those two pink lines is one of those breathtaking moments in life whether it’s baby #1 or #10. The surreal feeling lingers for several days once you’ve found out you are pregnant. After the dust settles a little, you start to wonder about how this all will turn out. If you’re anything like me, the temptation can be to start thinking about the worst case scenario situations. Since we are living in the information age, it is so easy to just research anything and everything that pops into our heads. When it comes to pregnancy (and babies), there are so many milestones to achieve.
First there’s getting over being sick, then there’s gaining weight, keeping all your numbers in a good place, and finally, there’s birth! Your body changes so much throughout the process. As those changes are taking place, I often found myself wondering if what I was feeling was normal.
That’s why one of the most important things to know about pregnancy as a first-time mom is to ask your mom or a trusted friend that has been through pregnancy about whatever you’re worrying about. Of course, consult your doctor or midwife if you have a serious concern. But in my experience, the things that feel weird or different are completely normal 9 times out of 10.
2. don’t be afraid to keep up your activity level
Along the same lines as worrying about the new sensations of pregnancy, I personally struggled with feeling like I shouldn’t push my body too much. I felt like, because I was pregnant, I was all of the sudden so fragile. There are definitely times you need to scale back and rest, but as long as you feel good, you should keep going! In fact, doing too little activity can lead to its own set of problems.
Social activities are great for keeping your attitude positive and feeling supported. Being outside is always good for mental and physical health. And working out is key to feeling your best, even through pregnancy.
I learned the hard way from my second pregnancy that skipping workouts may seem helpful now, but it makes things much more difficult later on. Since I got pregnant again when my first baby was 10 months old, I was tired! Keeping up with an almost toddler was hard. But by the time I got back on my feet after giving birth to my second baby I had not only gained 10 pounds more than my first pregnancy, but I felt so much weaker.
Although I personally believe that everyone needs to be strength training on a somewhat regular basis, walking is the next best thing. Long walks, even if they’re slow, are so important for staying healthy and feeling your best throughout pregnancy and into postpartum recovery.
3. Listen to your body
This is kind of cliche and people say it a lot. But being in tune with your body helps a lot to manage energy and support yourself through pregnancy. The one caveat I have to this piece of advice is that you should not be analyzing yourself for problems, but rather slowing down and observing what you need to feel your best. Although we can improve or worsen how we feel based on what we do or don’t do, we can’t determine the outcomes in pregnancy and birth.
Prioritizing protein for sustained energy, moving your body, and extra rest are all important aspects of energy management. More often than not, simply slowing down your pace in our on-the-go, busy lifestyles can clear up a lot of energy dips, soreness, and even digestive issues.
4. eating at home will always be the better option
Everyone knows that eating at home is healthier no matter whether you’re pregnant or not. My top craving, particularly in the third trimester of pregnancy, has always been a Cook-Out milkshake. If my husband would’ve let me, I’d of eaten one every night. The energy demands toward the end of pregnancy especially are really high. Even if you are eating dessert and even if it’s more than you probably should, eating at home is always a better option. Food at home is less processed and often has fewer ingredients. Now, if you’re just getting junk from the grocery store, that’s not really much better. But say you want to have something sweet every night after dinner. Making some homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies are a much better alternative to downing a sleeve of Oreos.
On the flip-side, first trimester sickness makes cooking at home a real challenge. I tend to think that just getting through those queasy days by eating whatever you can stomach is enough effort and pressure for new moms. However, if you are able to cook double when you can cook or snack on whole foods instead of pre-packaged snacks, you will likely wind up feeling better in the long run.
5. you can make your own choices
This one gets a little controversial. There are so many opinions out there on all things pregnancy, birth, and babies. I believe so very strongly that you, the mama, are the most qualified to make decisions regarding yourself and your baby. Conception and childbirth are a great mystery and are so intricately designed, only God truly knows all of the details.
With that being said, you do not have to do everything your provider tells you to do. It is so key to find a provider that you trust, who respects your ability to make decisions, and is willing to say, “I don’t know” when there are some unknowns. However, at the end of the day, the baby has been given to you and God has given you everything you need pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Now, am I saying that you shouldn’t have a provider or you should always go against medical advice? Absolutely not! I am so thankful for modern medicine and would whisk my babies off to the ER in a heartbeat. Let me give you a little backstory on why I feel so strongly about this.
My first birth experience
In the final days of my first pregnancy, I went for a routine visit to my provider. The appointment that day was very unprofessional and confusing. After being sent home as “normal,” my midwife called and told me that my belly measured small for my gestation week and asked me to come back in to the office to be rechecked. Upon arrival a very quick remeasure verified that my belly was measuring a little small. (How small? I still don’t know.)
I had a non-stress test done to make sure baby was doing fine and was sent home, again, as “normal.” The next day, they called me again to schedule a growth scan that I didn’t know about. At the scan, they told that one of the measurements of my baby was small for gestational age. I was induced later that night and when my baby girl was born, nothing was said with regards to the previous diagnosis. She was a totally normal weight and size.
All that to say, be confident to say no to unnecessary tests, don’t be afraid to ask questions, and make all of your decisions out of faith, not out of fear.
6. you shouldn’t try to have it all planned out
There are so many books out there. Don’t read them all. There are so many schedules, checklists, tips, and tricks. Don’t try to do them all.
Once again, with my first, I read all the books on how to get babies to sleep and do the “right thing.” I thought I had it all figured out. WRONG! Most of these books put babies in a box and make the mental aspect of mothering so incredibly challenging. There’s already so much stress with a new baby, especially for the first time. Don’t try to do it “the way” that these books tell you. Once again, God has made you this baby’s mama and you alone know the best thing to do for your baby.
One of the most empowering books I read before my second baby was born was The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. While this book focuses on breastfeeding, the main concept that encouraged me was that I can follow my instincts as a mom!
Just because you don’t attempt to do things by the book doesn’t mean that you don’t ever have a schedule. Rather, allowing your baby to direct your schedule gives you so much freedom to trust yourself and flexibility to go about your normal life. Babies are actually wonderful communicators. We just have to be willing to listen and respond. It shouldn’t be intimidating, it should be empowering! You can do this mama; between you and your baby, you have everything you need.
7. you are stronger than you think
Pregnancy is hard. It’s hard mentally and physically. It stretches you to have more faith, more strength, and more endurance. But you were designed to do it. Accepting the hard and trusting that you are able to withstand it is half the battle!
Somewhere about halfway through my second pregnancy I realized that I really didn’t want to be a miserable pregnant lady. I wanted to be a joy to be around, I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to continue making a positive impact on my toddler’s childhood rather than just bringing it down. Once I decided that, the hard things weren’t quite as hard. Some of the main physical drivers of pregnancy are our hormones. What is often connected to our hormones? Emotions! Managing our emotions well will often lead to a more positive outlook and, as a result, less pain and discomfort!
The same can be said for birth. Going into birth thinking that we are may not be able to get through it for whatever reason sets us up to quit when it gets hard.
I hope this advice for new moms was encouraging to you. If you’re expecting your first little one, decide today to be confident that you can do this and it can be a positive experience, not just something to get through. You were designed to do this and God will meet all of your needs along the way!
